The Marble Jar Channel

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video, I'll show you how to control your Chromecast with a standard TV remote control and explain why you might want to. I've tested out a bunch of streaming media devices and have ultimately settled on Chromecast as the tool of choice for our household.  If you are interested in my full rationale, you can check out my video on this, but basically, it's cheap, efficient, easy to use, and the original versions don't have their own easy-to-lose remote.  Chromecast has you use your own device (smart phone, tablet or computer) to choose the show you want to watch and then you simply hit a button in the app to cast it (or wirelessly stream it) to play on your TV or monitor or whatever you have your Chromecast attached to.   In 2020, Google launched Chromecast with Google TV which comes with it's own dedicated remote, but the original remote-less system is elegant and usually works well. Th

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the eighth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I discuss the second step of emotional behavior change -- creating positive behavior patterns. So, now we’ve talked about developmental behavior change, the key ingredient (emotional safety), and the first step, which is to break negative habits.  Now, we’ll talk about the second step or how to create new positive behavior patterns.  And again, this is developmental or emotional change, so we’ll be talking to your mammal brain.  So, how do you get a scared puppy to try new things? Small steps - first of all, you need to take small steps.  I remember when I was teaching my dog to ring the bell to indicate he wanted to go outside, I first rewarded him when he got NEAR the bell.  So, not even touching it yet.  If you start this process by wanting the puppy to ring the bell automatically, you are do

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video, I'll talk about why, in the context of adult relationships, we shouldn't use terms for children such as Need, Abandonment, Neglect, and Unconditional Love. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a controversial take, but this is a pet peeve of mine.  A little while ago, I did a video on a couple of words that most therapists use that I hate -- one of those words is "Need."  Specifically, I don't like when that word used in the context of an adult relationship.  And on further thought -- I've figured out why I don't like it.  And it has to do with hijacking words that were originally conceived to describe a child's experience for use in adult relationships. Hear me out. No one asks to be born.  We all come into this world vulnerable, helpless, and totally dependent on the human beings who brought us into it.  And as children, we have a LOT of needs.  And we have l

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and in today's video I'm going to give a summary and my takeaways from the 1990 book Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child by Margaret Paul and Erika Chopich.  I've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole recently reading about Inner Child work.  I recently did a video summary of Robert Jackman's book Healing Your Lost Inner Child, but the book today, written in 1990, is one of the seminal resources on this topic and still has much to teach us. Here is the overall map to my book videos: I give an overview which covers a quick summary of the book, the audience, and some background on the authors; then I review the structure of the book and give some additional content; I'll give my recommendation and an explanation; and finally, I'll review 5-10 takeaways that were either surprising or new information for me.  First, an Overview This book was written by two mental healt

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and in today's video, I'll give my summary and take aways from the book Healing Your Lost Inner Child: How to Stop Impulsive Reactions, Set Healthy Boundaries and Embrace an Authentic Life by Robert Jackman. Here is the overall map to my book videos: I give an overview which covers a quick summary of the book, the audience, and some background on the author/authors; then I review the structure of the book and give additional details; I'll give my recommendation; and finally, I'll review 5-10 takeaways that were either surprising or new information for me.  First, an Overview This is a book that introduces a process for healing your inner child.  This includes a foundational education on the concept of the inner child, the types of wounds and ineffective behaviors that result, a process for how to identify your wounds, ineffective behaviors, and triggers, and some exercises that walk you through how to adopt

Hi, everyone. This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video, I'll give my summary and take aways from the book More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD by psychologist Ari Tuckman. I'm going to implement a little more structure to my book summary videos, so that I am more likely to make them.  My new structure is going to be a quick overview of what the book is about, who the author is, and who the book is for.  Then I'll review the structure of the book, talk about whether I recommend it and why (and let's be honest, I really only do summaries of books that I'm willing to recommend) and 5-10 take aways that stood out for me.  So, let's start with an Overview This, nearly 400 page book, is a comprehensive book on Adult ADHD.  It was written in 2009, which means that it lacks some up-to-date tech strategies (for one thing -- smart phones were not widely used back then), but it is a complete reference book f

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and in today's video, I'll give my Summary and Takeaways from the book Tell Me No Lies: How to Stop Lying to Your Partner --- and Yourself -- In the 4 Stages of Marriage by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson.  Full disclosure -- I'm currently in a year long training through the Couples Institute on the couples counseling model originated by Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson.  The training is absolutely wonderful for a number of reasons, but it also predisposes me to appreciate this book that they wrote together in 2000 since I can place it in the context of my learning. Here is the overall map to my book videos: I give an overview which covers a quick summary of the book, the audience, and some background on the authors, then I go into the structure of the book, my recommendation and why, and 5-10 takeaways that were either surprising or new information for me.  Let's get started with an Overview This book is abo

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and in today's video, I'll give my summary and take aways from the book After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring & Michael Spring.  Here is the overall map to my book videos: I give an overview which covers quick summary of the book, the audience, and some background on the authors; the structure of the book; my recommendation and why; and 5-10 takeaways that were either surprising or new information for me.  Let's get started with an Overview This is a book for couples or partners where one partner has been unfaithful and they are hoping to save the relationship.  It is also a good book for therapists who work with couples who have experienced an affair, but it is mostly written for people who are living through this.  This book discusses the steps to take to heal your relationship after a betrayal.  It includes a description of the

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video, I'll talk about the distinction that I often make about three words: Sweet, Nice, and Kind.  And why it's important to know the difference. Here are three words that are often used interchangeably: sweet, nice, and kind.  But I think there are important distinctions between them that can help to decide how we want to be in the world.  In my family -- based on the distinctions I will discuss in a bit -- my husband is sweet, nice, and kind; my daughter is sweet and kind, I'm only kind, and my son used to be none of the above, but is growing into himself as an adult who is both sweet and kind. So, let's go through them: Sweet - I think of sweet as more of a temperament.  It describes someone who is pleasant and easy to be around.  Generally this temperament is not dominant or pushy, but is gentle and lovable.  This disposition is shared by most of the early Disney princesses - snow w

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video, I'll discuss some of the body-based techniques that you can use to quickly calm your nervous system.  If you've watching some of the earlier videos in this series, you already know that I talk with my clients a lot about neurobiology and specifically about the brain-body connection.  For a long time, psychologists have ascerted that in order to feel better,  we have to change the way we think.  And that can certainly be true.  However, we now know that calming the body also calms the brain -- and this process is far faster and more efficient than the reverse.  In fact, for every 1 signal that your brain sends to your body, your body is sending 4 signals to your brain.  So, although you can TRY to get your body to calm down by changing the thoughts from your brain, it's far more efficient and effective to work on your body to calm your brain down.   I think of cognitive work as a one la

Hi, everyone.  Recently I was asked to write an article about the psychology of suffering for a friend's triathlon training newsletter.  This is a different audience, but I thought I'd share it with you all nonetheless! I have to confess -- I don't really understand endurance athletes.  Now don't get me wrong -- I am properly impressed.  I'm awed by the effort, tenacity, and grit that is required to train for and ultimately finish something like an IronMan race.  But I have to say, I don't really get it.  Your body takes a beating, the training requires a huge amount of time from your life, and in the end -- all you get is the satisfaction of knowing that you completed an outrageous physical feat.  So, I guess maybe I can see doing that once?  But committed endurance athletes do not just do it once. They do it over and over and over again.  There is an almost addictive quality to it.  My friend Ali is such an athlete.  When Covid shut everything down two years a

Hi, everyone! This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel, and in today's video I will demonstrate the simple steps that I follow to do EFT tapping on my own. I call it PETS# Tapping. I'm a big fan of body-based calming techniques and my favorite by far is EFT tapping.  I did a 2-part video series that included a demonstration and explanation of how it works to discharge emotion and calm the nervous system.  If you don't know anything about basic tapping, go back and watch the first video in that series before watching this one.  So, I think highly enough of this technique that I use it almost daily to manage my nervous system and investigate feelings that I'm having.  I tried to meditate 10 minutes a day for something like 5 years -- with pretty dismal results.  I'm just a little too ADHD to meditate successfully.  I think this technique has a lot of similar benefits, but is more active and engaged, which I MUCH prefer.  I've said this in previous videos,

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the seventh video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about the two different kinds of change and the first step - breaking old behavior patterns. In the last couple of videos, I’ve discussed how to create emotional safety -- both external and internal.  Emotional safety is the WD-40 that greases the skids to allow behavior change to happen.  And unfortunately, it isn’t a one and done thing.  In order to challenge your old habits and create new ones, you will inevitably feel discomfort and anxiety.  And every time you feel this, you will need to re-stabilize yourself either by co-regulating with someone else or regulating your own emotions and create safety within. Let’s talk about the two different kinds of change: behavioral and developmental.   Behavioral change is just about acquiring a new habit.  For example, let’s say I decide th

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the sixth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about how to build internal emotional safety or self compassion that will help to widen your window of tolerance. In the last video, we talked about how widening your window of tolerance requires you to take small, anxiety-producing, growth-oriented steps and apply a lot of emotional safety like WD-40 to help ease the discomfort.  Of the two kinds of emotional safety, in the last video we covered external emotional safety -- or feeling safe and trusting someone else to help regulate your emotions.   So, let's say you have some people in your life who you trust and can usually help you to co-regulate your emotions.  But at the same time, you have this harsh, mean-spirited, critical inner voice that taunts you and makes you feel small, incapable, and unworthy. It might say -- “Why do