The Marble Jar Channel

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the eighth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I discuss the second step of emotional behavior change -- creating positive behavior patterns. So, now we’ve talked about developmental behavior change, the key ingredient (emotional safety), and the first step, which is to break negative habits.  Now, we’ll talk about the second step or how to create new positive behavior patterns.  And again, this is developmental or emotional change, so we’ll be talking to your mammal brain.  So, how do you get a scared puppy to try new things? Small steps - first of all, you need to take small steps.  I remember when I was teaching my dog to ring the bell to indicate he wanted to go outside, I first rewarded him when he got NEAR the bell.  So, not even touching it yet.  If you start this process by wanting the puppy to ...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the seventh video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about the two different kinds of change and the first step - breaking old behavior patterns. In the last couple of videos, I’ve discussed how to create emotional safety -- both external and internal.  Emotional safety is the WD-40 that greases the skids to allow behavior change to happen.  And unfortunately, it isn’t a one and done thing.  In order to challenge your old habits and create new ones, you will inevitably feel discomfort and anxiety.  And every time you feel this, you will need to re-stabilize yourself either by co-regulating with someone else or regulating your own emotions and create safety within. Let’s talk about the two different kinds of change: behavioral and developmental.   Behavioral change is just about acquiring a new hab...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the sixth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about how to build internal emotional safety or self compassion that will help to widen your window of tolerance. In the last video, we talked about how widening your window of tolerance requires you to take small, anxiety-producing, growth-oriented steps and apply a lot of emotional safety like WD-40 to help ease the discomfort.  Of the two kinds of emotional safety, in the last video we covered external emotional safety -- or feeling safe and trusting someone else to help regulate your emotions.   So, let's say you have some people in your life who you trust and can usually help you to co-regulate your emotions.  But at the same time, you have this harsh, mean-spirited, critical inner voice that taunts you and makes you feel small, incapable, and unworthy....

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the fifth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about how to find external emotional safety, otherwise known as trust or co-regulation, to help you widen your window of tolerance. External Emotional Safety - Co-regulation/trust As humans, we are built to connect.  It's the first tool we are programmed to try when our nervous system starts to ramp up -- connecting with another human being.  In this way, we can borrow some of that other person’s nervous system calm to counter OUR freaking out. This is called co-regulation -- regulating your emotions by connecting with someone else.  But we all know that not everyone makes us feel calmer. In fact, some people just push our buttons and make us feel worse.  I'm sure just saying this brings to mind some people in your life who fall into this category -- they qu...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the fourth video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  In this video, I’ll talk about how to push open your window of tolerance (which I think is the whole point of therapy) and feel emotionally safe. In the last video, we talked about the window of tolerance and how I think widening the window is  the whole point of therapy.  So, how do you do this? I think that the way you widen your window of tolerance is to do small, growth-oriented things that make you uncomfortable, over and over again.  For example, if you were afraid of heights, in order to increase your window of tolerance, you would have to start small by climbing up a single step.  You might have to climb up that single step multiple times before you don’t feel like jumping out of your skin.  And then you would climb up the second step.  And just like that, literal...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the third video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  The first 3 videos in this series I call my “TED Talk” -- every single one of my clients will hear this little speech from me eventually.  It helps to frame my philosophy about therapy, emotions, and the nervous system and gives us a common vocabulary for our work together.   In the last couple of videos, I talked about the nervous system, our brains, and how we tend to respond to threats -- both physical and psychological.  Now let's talk about the Window of Tolerance This is a way of thinking about what our nervous system is doing throughout the day.  Normally, we are walking around doing our thing, and our nervous system is pretty calm.  It's in this green resilience zone -- Dan Siegel calls this the window of tolerance.  We might have little things that happen to ...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the second video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  The first 3 videos in this series I call my “TED Talk” -- every single one of my clients will hear this little speech from me eventually.  It helps to frame my philosophy about therapy, emotions, and the nervous system and gives us a common vocabulary for our work together.   In the last video, we talked about the nervous system, the hand model of the brain, and what happens to our brains when we sense a threat.   Physical Threat = Psychological Threat But the thing is -- our brains and our nervous system -- can't really tell the difference between a physical threat and an emotional or a psychological threat.   Here are some examples of emotional threats: Being reprimanded by your boss Not getting an invitation to a party Having a loved one betray you Being called ugly by...

Hi, everyone.  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar Channel and this is the first video in a series where I share information that I think EVERY therapy client should know.  The first 3 videos in this series I call my “TED Talk” -- every single one of my clients will hear this little speech from me eventually.  It helps to frame my philosophy about therapy, emotions, and the nervous system and gives us a common vocabulary for our work together.  We talk a lot about emotions in therapy.  And we tend to think of emotions as entirely thought driven -- I'm sad or I'm anxious or I'm angry.  But we now know that emotions are actually full-body physiological responses.  And more and more, I'm starting to view emotions specifically and mental health in general as simply byproducts of our extremely active nervous systems -- or said differently -- a core part of our neurobiology. x Nervous System Let's talk about our nervous system for a bit.  Our nervo...