Talk to Your Non-black Kid about Using the N-word

Hi, everyone!  This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video I'll tell cover what you need to say to your suburban kid about the n-word. 

I really feel like no parent is going to watch this video. Mainly because nice, respectful, aware parents don't think their kids would EVER use the n-word. Sure, you've never had a conversation specifically about it, but your kid has never heard YOU use that kind of language.  There is really no way they would think that was acceptable.  

Here's the reality -- and I know this because I have witnessed multiple incidents just within the last year of kids using the n-word in the "rap" sense.  This is in my upscale, majority white, suburban town of pretty privileged kids. And the perpetrators ran the gamut from lily white 13 year old girls to high school boys, some of whom may have been people of color, but definitely not black. 

Here's why I think this conversation really needs to be had. These kids hear this word CONSTANTLY in the context of both rap/hip hop music and in popular culture. They are not trying to be offensive. They may, in fact, think they are celebrating black culture by using it. Without a straight conversation and some parental direction, it can feel to them like, as long as they are using it in the "rap" sense -- kind of like using the word "homey", it's okay for them to say.  I can tell you -- it is affirmatively NOT okay for non-black kids to use this word. EVER. 

Here's the way I think this conversation should go:

• Never - You should never use this word and further -- you should not tolerate it being said around you without comment. 
• History - This word has a terrible history bound up with our country's shameful slave-owning past. 
• Reappropriate - Sometimes oppressed groups take words that have been used to against them and "reappropriate" them for their own use to take the power out of them. That is what has been done with this word by the black community. 
• Only Blacks - It is fine for black people to use this word, but under no circumstance is it ever okay for a non-black person to use it. Even in a funny, non-pejorative or humorous context. And even if you identify as a person of color because you are Asian, middle eastern or whatever, you are still not black.
• Not with an "a" - Let me put this myth to bed right now -- using this word with an "a" at the end doesn't make it any better.  Find another word. 
• Ice Cube's video - Now stop talking and let Ice Cube make your point.  Ice Cube, if you don't know him, is a giant in the rap world and one of the main subjects of the movie Straight Outta Compton.  Recently, comic and professional cynic Bill Maher got into trouble by making a joke on his show that involved him saying the n-word.  Knowing he had mistepped, the next week he invited a couple of outspoken black friends onto the show so that they could publicly excoriate him. Ice Cube gave Bill Maher the most impassioned and straight forward argument that I've heard against using the n-word.  Here's a link to the YouTube clip -- and I'll include a link at the top of the comments section below. 

I guarantee you that, unless your kids is actually racist -- which I highly doubt since you are watching this video, they will think twice about using this word after your conversation and after watching the video.  And maybe they will gain some awareness and shut it down in their friend group. We can always hope.

Comments are always appreciated and thanks for watching!